#bc it wasn’t even about her in the end!!!!
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7-deadly-cats · 20 hours ago
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killing me softly (part one)
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pairing: rafe cameron x fem!introverted!kook!reader
cw: swearing, very indirect subtle mention of sexual activities (no actual scenes), mention of drug usage (no actual scene)
synopsys: it's the last year of high school and y/n is paired up with rafe cameron for a 2 week project in art class. this wouldn't be a problem if y/n wasn't awkward as hell and well ... if there wasn't her big fat crush on him.
word count: 2144
a/n: i haven't written this kind of stuff since like 8th grade (i recently graduated from university sooo yeah) but i kinda felt like it now and idk. there are so many smut involved fics on here (which isn't bad, i just need more softer slow burn stuff). not saying there won't be any smut in future parts hihihihi. also i have no clue how the american school system works (i'm from europe) so pls just accept this lol. and kelce's last name is statter bc apparently it was never mentioned in the show. anyway, this is for all my introverted and overthinking girlies (who may or may not be little freaks) <3
*****
Fuck my life.
That was the only thing on your mind as Mr. Smith announced the partners for the upcoming two-week art project. In pairs, you were supposed to create a reinterpretation of the Greek gods.
The assignment wasn’t the problem. In fact, it actually sounded kind of fun. But your partner? Yeah, that was the real issue.
Fucking Rafe Cameron.
Of all the people in this class, it had to be him. You didn’t even know why he'd chosen this class. Rafe was probably the last guy you’d expect to take an art elective—well, right after Kelce Statter.
He'd probably thought it was an easy class to boost his GPA. Rookie mistake.
Okay, whatever, it was just a small project. You could handle this.
NO, YOU COULDN’T, HOLY SHIT.
The thought of working with Rafe Cameron made your skin crawl. In all your years at Kildare Academy, you'd maybe exchanged two words with him—and that was only because he'd mistaken you for another girl.
"Y/N, right?" Rafe appeared at your desk at the end of class, a bored expression on his face.
Okay, okay, just act normal. Be nice. You nodded. "Yeah."
Rafe stared at you for a moment, like he was waiting for you to say more. His eyebrows furrowed slightly before he tilted his head. "Cool, okay. Let’s just meet up during lunch break and get this over with."
Did he seriously think you could finish a two-week project in one lunch break?
When he saw the look on your face, he raised his brows in amusement, his tone teasing. "What? You too busy?"
Your cheeks heated up as you shook your head. "No, lunch sounds good."
"Okay, then let’s meet after the fifth period." Before you could ask where you should meet him, he turned around and disappeared out of the classroom.
You frowned. This was off to a great start.
Just two weeks, you reminded yourself as you slung your bag over your shoulder and headed to math class.
On the way, you unlocked your phone to text your bestie Cara:
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You shoved your phone away and tried to ignore the uneasiness creeping into your stomach.
You didn’t usually have trouble talking to guys but Rafe Cameron was a whole different story. Not because he was "too cool" or some dumb shit like that.
No, Rafe was just... intimidating. Not in that bad-boy, cringe Wattpad kind of way. It was something else, something you couldn’t quite put into words.
He wasn’t arrogant—he was proud. He was loud, but not in the annoying way Kelce Statton was. He wasn’t rude—he just said whatever the hell was on his mind.
He was just ... himself. And yet, somehow he wasn't. It felt like there was a lot more going on beneath the surface.
Maybe that was what made him so interesting to you. Sure, he had a nice face and a well-known name, no doubt about that. But more than anything, you wanted to know why he was the way he was.
Was he just a blunt person who didn’t give a fuck, or was there more to him than his looks and his last name?
So yeah, maybe a part of you was curious about him. But he had such an overwhelming presence, you wouldn’t even know where to start.
In the past, he'd had a few friends-with-benefits situations, but none of them had lasted long. And that was definitely a path you didn't want to go down. Under different circumstances, maybe you could but you've never even held hands with a guy, let alone kissed one or—yeah, no, not going there.
Okay, chill. Internally, you cursed Cara for fueling your delusions.
You had more important problems at right now anyway. Like math class with Mrs. Richman. And no one could claim you were a star student in that subject.
----
The lesson dragged on, your thoughts constantly drifting. After class, you were supposed to meet Rafe.
Rafe, who had PE right now.
Shit. You tried not to think about a sweaty, heavy-breathing, and—NOPE, NOT NOW.
"Okay, that’s it for today. Don’t forget about the math test next week. But for now, go enjoy the nice weather," Mrs. Richman announced, dismissing the class.
Your hands felt clammy as you got up to leave. What the fuck is wrong with me?
You headed to the restroom and washed your hands. Why were you so nervous about spending one lunch break with Rafe Cameron? Fuck you, social anxiety.
"Everything okay?" A soft voice pulled you from your thoughts. "You look kinda pale."
You turned to see the pretty face of Molly Crane. Red hair, cute freckles, and a super charming smile. She was one of the few Kooks (if any existed at all) who was genuinely nice.
You forced a smile. "Yeah, yeah, all good. I think I just ate something bad for breakfast."
Molly didn't look convinced. "You sure? You look like you’ve seen a ghost."
"Really, thanks, Molly. I’m fine now." With an awkward smile, you excused yourself and headed out—only to realize that, well… great, you and Rafe had never picked a meeting spot.
Brrrt.
Your phone had been buzzing since math class. Of course, it had been Cara.
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You rolled your eyes with a smile and texted back.
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Should you really wait in front of the gym? That felt weird af. But at the same time, you didn’t want to miss him and end up having an awkward conversation about it in the next art class.
The cafeteria would've been the most obvious meeting place, but would Rafe actually look for you there?
You pressed your lips together. Fuck it.
Heart pounding, you headed toward the gym.
Good thing your body totally knew how to distinguish between social interaction and actual danger.
When you arrived, you heard muffled voices of the boys inside, along with Coach Brown’s instructions.
Just breathe, it’s just one lunch break, you told yourself. Then again, this was probably how the next two weeks were going to feel.
You held your breath as the gym doors swung open, and a crowd of sweaty—oops wrong, freshly showered—boys streamed out.
You awkwardly stepped to the side, ignoring the curious glances thrown your way.
No sign of Rafe yet. A sick feeling settled in your stomach. Even worse than being here and having to explain HOW you knew that he would be here, would be explaining why you were standing there if he didn’t actually have PE right now.
But then relief washed over you when you spotted Kelce Statter and Topper Thornton. And right behind them—Rafe Cameron.
You tightened your grip on your bag. Okay, okay, I can do this. They’ll probably say bye to Rafe and leave for lunch now.
They didn’t. Great.
When Rafe saw you, something flickered in his gaze that you didn’t want to analyze. You expected him to just walk past you but instead, he headed straight toward you—with Kelce and Topper right behind him.
Just smile. No, not like that, you probably look like a creep. Oh god, okay.
"Hey," Rafe greeted you with a slightly puzzled smile as the three of them stopped in front of you. "I didn't expect you here."
In other words: Did you stalk me or how did you know I was here?
Kelce and Topper eyed you with amusement. This is so unbelievably embarrassing.
Blushing, you pointed at the gym bag slung over his shoulder. "Well, I saw you bringing a sports bag today, and PE is usually scheduled right before lunch ... so I just assumed you’d be here."
Out of the corner of your eye, you saw Kelce stifling a laugh. You wanted to disappear from Earth, no from this universe. No way anyone would believe--
"Right," Rafe replied with a lopsided grin. "I would’ve just waited in the cafeteria."
So you had been right. And you could've saved yourself this painfully awkward moment. G-r-e-a-t.
"Good thinking though. The faster we get this project over with, the better."
Shit, did Rafe just compliment you? Then again, why did the last sentence sound like he didn't want to work with you?
You smiled awkwardly. "Exactly."
"You're Y/N Y/L/N, right? Your mom owns Y/L/N Yacht Sales." Topper’s voice cut in, and you were grateful for the topic change.
You nodded. "Yeah."
Was that admiration on Topper’s face?
"Ohh, a business Mommy, I like that", Kelce said, and both Topper and Rafe eyed him with shaking heads.
Topper blinked at him annoyed. "Bro, shut the fuck up for once."
Kelce just laughed.
"My dad bought a Grady-White from you guys recently," Rafe remarked, and your gaze flicked back to his blue eyes.
Jesus, he wasn’t just looking at you—he was staring into your soul. If he was always looking at girls like that you'd gladly be his friends-with-benefits-girl.
You prayed to whatever gods were listening that you didn’t blush. "I remember. A 456 Canyon."
The corner of Rafe’s mouth twitched up. "Yeah, a pretty model."
Your cheeks warmed, and either he didn’t notice, or he chose not to comment on it.
"Oh shit, that sounds like a boat party," Kelce chimed in with a grin and looked at you. "If I were you, I’d have thrown a dozen parties by now. So many possibilities…"
Rafe scoffed amused. "Good thing she isn’t, or her family would be broke by now."
You allowed yourself a small smirk.
„Hey, I’m just saying.“ Kelce raised his hands innocently.
Topper tapped him on the chest with the back of his hand. „Okay, dude, and I’m saying we’re leaving now before you say more stupid shit.“ Then he looked at you apologetically and turned his gaze to Rafe. „See you later.“
Rafe just gave him a short nod, his expression hard to read, before turning back to you with a tired smile as Kelce and Topper disappeared behind the gym. „So, you hungry?“
Why did this situation suddenly feel so… intimate? It wasn’t. Definitely not. There was absolutely no reason to feel weird about this. And yet—standing here alone with Rafe Cameron was… a lot. Maybe it was the way he looked at you—calm, focused, as if he was actually paying attention.
Or maybe it was the damn wet strands of hair falling into his forehead after his shower.
Get a grip.
You nodded quickly, trying not to overthink it. „The cafeteria has quinoa veggie bowls today. Or fries, if you’re not into influencer food.“
Oh God. Was that your attempt at being funny? Tragic.
Rafe’s lips twitched with amusement. „So, you’re assuming I don’t like quinoa bowls?“
Oh. Oh no.
Heat immediately rushed to your face, and you could feel your cheeks burning. Why the hell did you say that?
„No—I mean…“ You let out a nervous laugh, which sounded more like a weird cough. „Not that you wouldn’t like it, but you’re just more like—uh, not that I’m putting you in a box or anything, but you don’t seem like someone who… uh…“
Rafe raised an eyebrow, his smirk widening. „Someone who eats quinoa?“
You sighed. „Forget it. I’m just talking nonsense.“
„No, no, now I’m curious.“ His voice was amused, almost teasing. „How exactly do I seem?“
You swallowed. Shit.
„Uh…“ Your eyes flickered over him for a second—his broad shoulders, the damp strands of hair falling into his forehead, the fresh polo shirt fitting way too well against his body—oh God, wrong direction.
„I just meant…“ Maybe you should just stop talking and dig your own grave. You sighed and smiled awkwardly. „Okay, look, I'm sorry if you’re actually a secret quinoa veggie bowl advocate. I didn’t mean to sound condescending.“
Rafe laughed. Not in a mocking way—no, it was real, warm, which somehow made it worse because it only made you more nervous.
„No, no, I get it,“ he said, shrugging with an amused smile. „I guess I need to work out more if I’m giving off ‘fries guy’ vibes.“
Your eyes widened, and you quickly shook your head. „That’s not what—“
„Relax, I know what you meant.“ He cut you off, tilting his head toward the cafeteria. „Come on, you can keep judging me in there.“
I am the most embarrassing person alive, you thought, face still burning.
Still, you fell into step beside him, gripping the strap of your bag a little tighter. Brain, could you please shut the hell up? Thanks.
It didn’t.
Because why did Rafe’s presence feel so overwhelming—in the best way possible? And why did his ridiculously good aftershave still linger in the air between you, like some kind of cruel distraction?
And most importantly—how the hell were you supposed to survive two whole weeks of this?
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deansbeer · 2 days ago
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♡ a hunter's journey to fatherhood ⎯⎯ dean winchester.
📖 LIBRARY !
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SYNOPSIS. dean struggles with anxiety about fatherhood, avoiding you until guidance from mildred helps him embrace love, vulnerability, and hope.
WARNING(S). slight angst | hurt comfort | f!reader | anxiety | self-doubt | dean's fear of failure as a new father | emotional vulnerability | moments of crying | mentions of childhood trauma (a big FUCK U 2 john winchester) | alcohol use (though not excessively) | avoidance | isolation | pregnancy.
kari talks ◞ i saw these gifs of dean n mildred pop up on my feed this morning so i had to write something w a lil fluffy angst <3 don't hate me bc it does have a happy ending !!! + this may sound rushed, has not much dialogue at the end, n repetitive :) my apologies !
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dean winchester is an anxiety-riddled mess.
you’ve always known he’s carried the weight of the world on his shoulders, but ever since you told him you were pregnant, he’s been distant. not outright cold, but the kind of distant that eats at you—quiet moments stretched too long, averted gazes, and excuses to leave the room.
it hurts.
you knew dean had his doubts about himself; he’s never been shy about the scars his childhood left behind. but you didn’t expect him to pull away like this.
every time you thought about asking him where he stood—whether he was happy, scared, or maybe regretting it altogether—you stopped yourself. you didn’t want to burden him more than he already seemed to be.
so you busied yourself with little things, distracting yourself by cleaning the house, organizing your shared bedroom, or just sitting on the couch with a book, hoping he’d come around.
but tonight, dean isn’t home.
he’d slipped out a few hours ago, mumbling something about needing air. you didn’t push. you’d seen the tension in his jaw, the way his hands flexed and tightened at his sides like he didn’t know what to do with them.
what you didn’t know was that dean had driven into town, parked the impala outside the local dive bar, and gone inside to drown his thoughts in whiskey.
⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯
the bar was dimly lit and half-empty, perfect for someone who didn’t want to be noticed.
dean sat at the counter, nursing his third drink, his mind spinning.
he couldn’t stop thinking about it. about you. about the baby.
him, a dad.
he snorted bitterly into his glass. what the hell did he know about being a father? he’d barely survived his own childhood. john winchester had been a lot of things—strong, determined, relentless—but a good dad? not even close.
and what if dean turned out just like him?
the thought made his chest tighten, panic clawing at his throat.
he closed his eyes, swallowing hard. the whiskey wasn’t helping; it was only making his emotions come faster, harder.
he slammed a couple of bills on the bar top and left, walking out into the cool night air.
he sat in the impala, gripping the steering wheel as his breath hitched.
and then it hit him—hot tears stinging his eyes, rolling down his cheeks before he could stop them.
he wiped at his face angrily, cursing under his breath.
what the hell is wrong with me?
but then, through the fog of his thoughts, he remembered mildred baker.
she’d helped him and sam on a hunt years ago, and she’d been one of the few people who’d ever managed to get through to him. she was kind, wise, and had this way of making you feel like everything was going to be okay, even when it felt like the world was falling apart.
before he could second-guess himself, he started the car and drove to her place.
⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯
mildred greeted him with the warmth he hadn’t realized he needed.
“dean winchester,” she said with a smile, stepping aside to let him in. “to what do i owe the pleasure?”
he hesitated for a moment, standing in her doorway like a lost kid.
“uh... sorry for showing up so late,” he mumbled, scratching the back of his neck. “i just... i didn’t know where else to go.”
she frowned slightly, concern flickering across her face, but she didn’t ask questions.
“come on in,” she said gently, motioning for him to sit on the couch.
once they were seated, mildred folded her hands in her lap and waited patiently.
“so,” she said after a beat, her voice soft. “what’s got you all tied up in knots?”
and that’s when it all came tumbling out.
words spilled from dean’s mouth faster than he could stop them—about you, about the baby, about how terrified he was of screwing everything up.
“i just... i don’t know how to do this,” he admitted, his voice cracking slightly. “hell, i don’t even know if i can do this. what if i screw the kid up? what if i screw her up? she deserves better than me. they both do.”
mildred listened quietly, her expression soft but unreadable.
when he finally stopped, his chest heaving slightly from the emotional release, she reached over and placed a hand on his arm.
“dean,” she said gently, her voice steady. “you’re not your father.”
his head snapped up at that, his green eyes wide and vulnerable.
“but what if i am?” he whispered.
she smiled softly, shaking her head.
“you’re not,” she said firmly. “you’ve already proven that by coming here tonight. you care, dean. you care so much it’s eating you alive. and that’s what makes you different. john winchester loved you boys, but he didn’t know how to show it. you do. and that’s all that matters.”
dean swallowed hard, his throat tight.
“but what if i mess up?” he asked, his voice small.
“you will,” she said with a chuckle. “because that’s what parents do. we mess up. we’re human. but as long as you love that baby and love itd mama, you’ll figure it out.”
her words settled over him like a warm blanket, easing some of the tension in his chest.
“you’re gonna be a great dad, dean,” she said, her voice soft. “just follow your heart.”
⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯
later that night, after mildred helped him sober up, dean drove back home.
the house was quiet when he walked in, the only sound coming from the soft clinking of dishes in the kitchen.
he followed the sound, stopping in the doorway when he saw you standing at the sink.
you were wearing one of his old flannels, the sleeves rolled up as you washed the few remaining dishes from dinner.
he leaned against the doorframe, watching you for a moment.
god, you were beautiful.
even now, with your hair slightly messy and your focus on the task in front of you, you took his breath away.
he took a deep breath, gathering his courage, and stepped toward you.
you didn’t notice him at first, too lost in your own thoughts.
it wasn’t until he wrapped his arms around you from behind that you startled slightly, your body tensing before relaxing into his embrace.
“baby,” you said softly, your hands stilling in the soapy water.
he buried his face in the crook of your neck, breathing you in.
“where’ve you been?” you asked, your voice gentle but cautious. “are you okay?”
“yeah,” he said, his voice muffled against your skin. “i’m okay.”
you didn’t push for more, not when he mentioned he’d gone to see mildred.
instead, you leaned into him, letting his warmth settle around you like a shield.
he rubbed small circles on your stomach, his lips brushing against your neck.
and for the first time in weeks, you felt a flicker of hope.
but when you opened your mouth to ask him where he stood on the baby, he didn’t let you speak.
instead, he started rambling, the words tumbling out in a rush.
he told you how scared he was, how he’d been afraid he’d ruin everything, that he’d turn out like his dad or disappoint you.
“but i want this, sweetheart,” he said finally, his voice breaking slightly. “i want you. and i want this baby. i just... i needed to figure out how to not screw it up.”
tears stung your eyes as you turned to face him, cupping his face in your hands.
“dean,” you said softly, your voice thick with emotion. “you could never be like him. you love so much, sometimes too much. you’re going to be an amazing dad. i know it.”
he closed his eyes, leaning into your touch as a single tear slid down his cheek.
“thank you, baby,” he whispered.
⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯
after you’d finished the dishes, you drew a bath for the both of you.
you knew he’d been sore and achy from a recent hunt, and you figured the warm water would help.
he sat behind you in the tub, his arms resting on either side of the rim as you leaned back against his chest.
you brought the soapy cloth to your chest, letting the warmth soothe you before handing it to him.
he took it, running it over his own chest before reaching down to gently rub your shoulders.
the quiet intimacy of the moment was enough to ease both your minds, the tension of the past few weeks melting away.
when the water started to cool, dean helped you out of the tub, wrapping a fluffy towel around you before leaning down to kiss your stomach.
you weren’t even showing yet, but the gesture made your heart swell.
he wrapped a towel around himself, and the two of you went through your nightly routines before climbing into bed.
dean was already lying down when you joined him, his hands behind his head as he waited for you.
you turned off the lights and crawled into bed, settling on top of him with your head on his chest.
his hand rested on your lower back, the other cradling the back of your head as he pressed a soft kiss to your hair.
the two of you talked quietly about what to expect, about names and nurseries and everything in between.
and when you finally drifted off to sleep, wrapped in his arms, you knew everything was going to be okay.
because dean winchester was going to be the best damn dad in the world.
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will80sbyers · 3 days ago
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You love S2 bc of Byler but objectively and as a whole, it wasn’t as good as S1 that was pretty flawless
Omggg thank you for telling me why I love season 2!!! Clearly all I do is only think about byler and I don't have a deep knowledge of all of the show and characters way more than half of the "mega fans" of the sacred military/lab plot!!! Lmao kindly fuck off from my blog 🫶
I love season 2 because as a whole I think it is way better and more interesting than season 1, the possession plot is cooler and more mysterious than season 1, THE MIND FLAYER is literally introduced, we already know the characters and love them so we can enjoy their interactions more, the kids are all together, Max gets introduced, El and Hopper become a family, El has an independent arc where she's learning about her mom and sister and searching for her roots and learning she's always gonna choose mercy and not revenge, no st*ncy (THANK GOD), Jancy happens, lumax, byler moments and even the Mike and El reunion at the end was beautiful, we have a good finale with them having fun together, Steve and Dustin team up, the Demodogs and the tunnels are way better plots than S1 was and more interesting because the kids are directly involved in it and can actually have some agency and don't have El fighting for them at all times, Bob is in season 2, Boyce + Hopper taking care of both of the Byers and of El - there are so many things in season 2 that I love more than season 1 and it's not all byler, if I had to choose a season for Byler I would have said season 5 🤗
Season 2 is objectively better than season 1 and it is flawless for me, season 1 is right after - hopefully season 5 is better than season 2 but with the amount of military stuff they've put in it I'm gonna say season 2 is gonna stay on top all around for me even if Byler gets together in season 5
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preordereddepression · 2 days ago
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Nobody believed in the supernatural. Nobody believed in ghosts.
Except for the Midoriya family.
Inko has always known there was something wrong with her Izuku. Since he was a baby, his behaviour wasn’t that of a normal newborn. When she would lay him down to play, he would reach out his hands this way and that. Sometimes, he reached for Inko, which she delighted in. Sometimes he grabbed at thin air.
At night, when Inko laid in her bed, vigilant, Izuku would cry. She would stand up, begin her trip to his room, yet, before she made it, he would stop crying. Inko would still check on him, but her baby was already back asleep.
These weren’t enough for Inko to truly worry, she just saw them as weird behaviourisms. She’d frequently share these little moments with her dear friend, Bakugou Mitsuki. The other woman found it humorous, so Inko followed her lead.
Inko was proud of her little Izuku, he began speaking much faster than his peers. It was a curious development, yet nothing concerning. However, with his mastery of language, Izuku has begun speaking to himself a lot. Or, rather, speaking to thin air.
She would hear him having full conversations with somebody that didn’t exist. There would be full pauses in his speech, as if another person was responding. It wasn’t akin to a child creating stories in his head, so Inko grew stressed.
Mitsuki was also quite perplexed by this revelation. They sat down once, to think the situation through properly. The best explanation they came up with was imaginary friends. Even though Izuku would have conversations about things Inko knew he didn’t previously know about.
It's from my AU where Izuku can see ghosts. It'll be a long fic (I've already written around 30k words for it yay)
✦°.•
This is a little snippet from a fanfic I'm working on
It'll follow the main story beats of the manga (right up until the end) but with a whole bunch of added things of course
It'll feature dadzawa and eventual bkdk (think the end of the fic lol) and a lot of 1-A bc I love them and Shinso bc fuck Mineta
I'm planning on posting the first two chapters onto ao3 soon
:D
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mydearestbeloved · 1 day ago
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Lol the discussion on that scenario post was wild bc lmao wdym tp!reader got pregnant again a few weeks later after giving birth to her first kid??? 💀💀💀Now i know jinwoo can’t keep it in his pants based on a few risky chapters we’ve had so far and I doubt tp!reader deny him sex during her pregnancy (those two are built different too so…) and our man is an considerate husband and may be aware that she just gave birth not long ago but imagine when she had to breastfeed a hungry tpau!suho right next jinwoo and like a horndog he was, got aroused at the sight and “accidentally” brushed at her breast in an attempt to “help”. Tp!reader was appalled bc no baby is right here mister😠put that hand way or so help me 👊👊👊💥💥💥. I know this guy got mad baby fever for a long while.
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Implied sexual themes; Reader discretion advised.
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At that point, it’s not just a fever—it’s just one symptom to a full-blown personal pandemic. Down bad? Considering who he’s married to? Yeah, no way he’s ever getting over it.
The man is literally the concept of death itself (dear novel readers, correct me if I'm wrong), but the second he sees TP!Reader nursing their newborn child, in a nutshell explanation: his brain does a factory reset straight to must bring another life with wife.
My good Sir, can you let her be the mother of your child for five minutes before remembering she’s also your wife???
But hey, TP!Reader is his partner. It might seem to be such a simple world, but it is everything considering what they went through before and after together. What she have done for him and what he have done for her, in the past, present, and future, all will be revealed in the mainstory.
When the time came that they’re actually married? Yeah, no, that leash of restraint snapped ages ago. Is Jinwoo going to be the type to wake up every day in awe like, “She’s real. She’s mine. And she’s right there.”? Finding excuses to touch? 🤔
And look, TP!Reader knows what she married into at that point. She knew exactly what this man was like. If there’s anyone who understands just how deep his obsession runs, it’s her. She’s read the original version of him, and she knows that the Jinwoo she ended up with is one who fell so completely that there’s no pulling him back. She chose this life this time, and she’s the only one who can handle him in the end.
But even she wasn’t prepared for the actual statistical impossibility. Miracles aren’t supposed to happen twice, but apparently, being crazy about your wife does increase the odds. Like, against all odds, the universe was just like, “Y’know what? Let’s throw in another one.” (I'm saying this knowing I'm guilty as charged 😌)
Did TP!Reader expected this to happen at some point, even just a little? Maybe. But the absurdness of it all will never cease to exist.
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devondespresso · 2 days ago
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First fic tag game 📝
Pick a fandom and post an excerpt of the first thing you ever wrote in that fandom. Could be a scene, part of a scene, a couple of lines, whatever your first foray into writing for that fandom was. Feel free to include a link to the story it comes from if it’s been published (excerpts from WIPs count too).
tagged by my beloveds @carolperkinsexgirlfriend and @stellarspecter
technically the first thing i started writing for stranger things was my Steve Henderson au 👀 tho at this point most of the original draft from then has been edited bc i was definitely learning as i went, this scene below is one of my favorites from that first attempt and has had the least amount of edits (all the plot beats and most of the dialogue being the exact same!!)
<< also thank you guys you reminded me just in time to keep up with my resolution of revisiting this wip at least once a month 🙏 >>
putting the snip under the cut, and going ahead and tagging @sourw0lfs @marvel-ous-m @helpimstuckposting @queenie-ofthe-void @solarmorrigan
@withacapitalp @hairstevington @scriptorbemi @tinytalkingtina @hbyrde36
and anyone else who wants to join!! 💕💕💕
(Context: in season 2 in Dustin's cellar, right after they find and look through the hole D'art dug to escape)
“Great.” Steve sighed, standing up and laying the slime on the ground by the hole, “So now what?”
“We have to find him.”
“Yeah, can’t say I’m thrilled about that.”
“We have to, he ate Mews when he was the same size as her. If he keeps getting bigger he’s going to start hurting people.”
"Mews as in… your cat?"
"Yeah."
Steve nodded slowly.
“You said his face opened up, right? Like,” Steve set the bat down and tried gesturing the petals from the demogorgon’s ‘face’.
“Yeah, yeah, exactly like that. Like he’s an early metamorphic stage of a–”
“Demogorgon.” Awesome. Round two, apparently. “Should we be telling someone about this?”
“I’ve been trying, no one’s answered their walkie all day. That's why I got you.”
“Good to know I’m your last choice.” Steve bitched.
Henderson just rolled his eyes and looked back at the hole.
“Still not a huge fan of looking for a man-eating dog in the middle of the night.” Steve said, “Think it could wait ‘till morning?”
“Maybe? We don’t have any idea where he’ll climb out.”
“Your house’s pretty secure right?” Steve asked. Henderson turned around to look at him, confused. “Just like. He’s not gonna be able to break in while you’re sleeping?”
Henderson’s eyes widened. Shit.
“I… I don’t think so. He didn’t break out when he was cat-sized.”
“Good good, then you’ll be fine,” Steve assured, giving him a solid pat on the back. “We’ll wait until it’s light tomorrow and I’ll come help you find him and we’ll take care of it, yeah?”
“Yeah, good. Sounds good. Tomorrow.”
“Cool, I’ll drop by at eleven.”
“Yeah, just– park at the end of the street. I’ll tell my mom I’m going to a friend’s house.”
“Alright.” Steve slung the bat over his shoulder and walked back to the stairs, Henderson catching up beside him. “And, uh, don’t sweat it, man. The coming-inside-while-you’re-asleep thing. I mean even if he had, like, the brainpower to try and find a way in, he wouldn’t have the force—I mean full grown they’re like sticks—and why would he even want in anyway there's plenty of squirrels and shit–”
“You’re right,” Henderson interrupted. “It’s, uh… just a– He's not big. Yet. So there's no real reason to worry.”
Steve looked at him as he put up a small smile, close-lipped and eyes barely squinted. It could pass as calm if he’d never seen the kid before in his damn life. But talking about it more wasn’t helping.
“Yeah, good.” He patted his arm, then looked at his car for a moment. “Wait here a sec.”
Steve jogged over and opened the passenger's seat, pulling a napkin and a pen out of his glovebox and scribbling his number down.
Steve went to turn around and run back, only to find Dustin barely a few steps behind him.
“Here,” he said, handing Dustin the napkin and closing the car door, “If you need anything.”
He rounded the car to the driver’s side, and when he looked back Dustin was just standing there with the napkin. Steve gestured to the house’s front door.
“Shit, yeah.” He whispered and rushed to get inside, “Thanks.”
Steve waved him off and sat in his car, waiting until the front door closed before driving back home.
Demogorgons again, then. Great. Wonderful
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ryoshiwaah · 2 days ago
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chapter 15: mistletoe pt.2
a/n: lowkey short chapter bc I had to dig to find my motivation.
The day after, Y/n woke up to loud voices echoing in the house; being half-asleep, she rubbed her eyes and sat up, taking in her surroundings: next to her, where Minji was sleeping the night before, was a tidy bed. 
The sight made the youngest groan in frustration, annoyed that her friend was probably having breakfast without her, and also dared to stop cuddling her. Unacceptable.
As she stared at the empty space for a little more, contemplating the way she could use the situation to make Minji feel guilty and receive more presents on Christmas’s day, from the corner of the eye, a glimpse of a note caught her attention.
On the pillow, there was a folded piece of paper that said “for Y/n”.
Curiosity and worry got the best of our stupid protagonist and she opened it, to her, it was either a suicide note or a lame joke that Minji thought once she woke up.
Opening it with trembling fingers, Y/n thought of the worst and her anxiety only flared up at the words slurred into the piece of paper. 
“I’m sorry about last night, I shouldn’t have kissed you back. I’m sorry for writing this and for leaving you alone.”
The first paragraph was apology after apology, the ink blurred and made a mess because of the wet stains on the paper, signaling that Minji was crying while writing the letter. The doubt creeped into her mind that this was all a dream.
She had to be dreaming.
“Writing this feels like betraying you, Y/n, but the guilt of ending up becoming more… I can’t live with it. You don’t deserve it, the hate of the netizens if they find out, the looks on our parents' faces.”
A desperate, sarcastic giggle left her lips. The hopes of another Christmas together were shattering right in front of her. That couldn’t be their last Holidays together, it wasn’t possible. After almost a decade of being friends, Minji was letting everything go because of a kiss?
The promise of growing up and succeeding together, the secrets – Their entire lives.
Did all of that simply didn’t matter anymore to her?
“I know you’d be able to keep it up in front of the world, but I’m different. I’m not like you, I’m not strong nor patient, and if I can’t love you freely I’d rather not love you at all. My feelings will pass and yours will too. I’m sure of it, you’re easily bored after all.”
The piece of paper fell to the ground with calmness despite the weight of the words written on it. Y/n didn’t talk, her head felt light and dizzy, overwhelmed with dread, sadness, anger and fear.
Slowly, the loud voices began to have a meaning, becoming distinct sounds: Y/n could hear Minji’s mother yelling at someone, her own mother trying to reason with her, while a male voice, perhaps Minji’s brother, was gradually raising his voice.
Did they know what happened? Maybe Minji came back and they were lecturing her. 
With trembling legs and a heart filled with delusion, Y/n almost tripped on her own Christmas shoes as she ran to the kitchen, flying on the steps of the stairs. It was clearly one of Minji’s pranks.
She never pranked her to be honest, but maybe the Holidays’ spirit made her let loose.
Minji wasn’t in the kitchen, or in the house, not even in town anymore. Y/n learned from the girl’s mother the truth behind the piece of paper: she had called a cab and went back to the dorms, claiming the company needed her as soon as possible.
They tried to make her come back but she was adamant, always justifying her actions with the same sentence – “The company needs me.”
Y/n lost hope once again, she spent her holidays locked in her room, barely getting out to eat. Minji did the same, training, eating, sleeping, repeat; her instructor checked on her from time to time, but she would always lock her door and shut off everyone.
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a-bad-case-of-the-stephs · 22 hours ago
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SRSLY ABT the attention to detail in comics.
Rereading Steph’s pregnancy arc a few times gave me such a bigger appreciation to the subtle attention to detail that was included.
It genuinely surprised me, esp given I normally associate Dixons writing in Robin 93 as riddled with inconsistencies (which it sometimes just is to be fair). But so many small details in Steph’s pregnancy arc are genuinely so well interconnected. I was also wondering about who came up with some of these details, I wish I knew.
A lot of the stuff I noticed I couldn’t even fit into my og post bc it just wasn’t relevant to my point.
Like all the villians who show up to help Arthur in Steph’s dream appear to be all the same villians who teamed up w Arthur during Blunt Trauma, and who Steph fought in Blunt Trauma.
The shirt she’s wearing in her dream sequence is the same shirt she was wearing when she went into labor (and the same shirt she wore when confessing her doubts to Tim). The overalls from her dream sequence match the overalls she wore in the Secret Origins 80 Page Special, specially in the moment where she confirms her dedication to giving up her baby for adoption to hopefully give it a better childhood than her own. Her dream sequence outfit is therefore a combination of her outfit worn in a moment of doubt about adoption and the outfits she wore in a moment about certainty abt adoption: literally her conflict in the dream is represented just through what clothes she’s wearing.
This one is probably more of a stretch but the last thing Steph hearing before going under is one of them commenting that the ‘Baby is strong’, which we see repeated twice, before transitioning directly into Steph’s own dialogue, as her dream begins. Potentially this is a mirror to the convo Steph and Crystal have in #59 where Crystal begins the convo by referring to Steph as ‘baby’ and ends it by referring to her as ‘strong’.
And even her baby wearing a little Crocky onesie could be a call back to the kid Steph saved in Blunt Trauma who was crawling after a Crocky toy. This one I’m less sold on, but I really really like the idea of Steph’s subconscious melding children she’s interacted with semi recently into her dreamed version of her baby.
Anyway such an interesting point abt Tim in this comic. I’ve definitely noted it before but yeah, his little speech is just conservative propaganda abt the nuclear family and does as a result of that come across less concerned for Steph herself. Bc of how blatant Tim’s speech is I srsly don’t hold it against the character: as you said, he’s also like 14 and trying to be there for his girlfriend.
Fantastic great point about her support systems and how vulnerable Steph is at that point. And many points. I will never get over how much preboot Steph is isolated as a character. Heartbreaking stuff actually.
The biggest question Steph grapples with throughout her entire pregnancy is the question of whether or not she should give up her baby. By closely examining the elements from Steph's dream sequence as she gives birth the reason Stephanie eventually decides to give up her baby becomes apparent.
We first see this question arise in Robin #58, where sitting on a rooftop, pretty soon after discovering her pregnancy, Steph brings up the idea that she wants to keep the baby, and says she doesn’t know how she could give it up.
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Steph seems to continue with adoption arrangements despite this confession, although we can see that Steph seemingly spends the rest of her pregnancy arc secretly debating the matter.
We see this subtly illustrated through the usage of magazines. Steph begins her pregnancy reading magazines geared towards her age range and gender, ("teen" and "boys") with one magazine seemingly about pregnancy "9 Months".
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Robin #59
When we see Steph reading magazines again a few issues later, she has a "clothes for baby" catalogue and a "teen" magazine. She seems to be looking at the baby clothes catalogue when Tim walks into the room, causing her to subtly hide it under the "teen" magazine.
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Robin #61 / #62
Steph brings up a big question on that rooftop in Robin #59: how can she possibly give up her baby? And although it appears at first Steph accepts and moves on, choosing to give up her baby, we know that this question never really got answered for Steph, she’s still been thinking all the while throughout her pregnancy, while reading these magazines, while hiding her doubts until the last moment: how is she going to be able to go through with this?
But we don't get final confirmation of this fact until Steph finally voices her conflict to Tim, the same night she goes into labor. Notice how all the magazines around her are now all baby related.
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Robin #64
When Steph finally cracks and confesses to Tim her desire to keep the baby after all, Tim tries to reason with her. Although Steph seems to agree with some of his points, it’s very important to note that it still doesn’t seem like Steph’s committed to the choice to give up her baby for adoption. She says she knows it’s the right thing to do, but she trails off with a ‘but…’ making her indecisiveness clear. She still hasn’t really made up her mind.
Steph goes into labor later the same night, and due to unspecified complications is rushed to the hospital. Steph is given some kind of anesthesia, and enters her dream as a c-section is performed. When she exits her dream and awakes, baby born, something has changed.
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Robin #65
So if Stephanie, all throughout her pregnancy up has been questioning this, finally voicing her doubts the night before she goes into labor, and when she awakes, she has come to a firm decision she says she figured on her own, the only place and time where Steph could have made this choice is during her dream sequence.
So what about the dream changed her mind?
One of the big repeated themes throughout Stephs dream sequence is a conflation of her own childhood and that of her baby's. Stephs feelings and memories meld, and the line between her and her baby is shaky.
This isn't a random detail, or even an inevitability of a dreamlike state: it's a specific choice and I think it explains how and why Steph makes up her mind the way she does.
Stephs biggest influence towards the idea of giving her baby up for adoption is her fear that her baby might experience a similar childhood to her own. We see this argument start to convince Steph when Tim brings up Stephs own childhood the night she goes into labor and when Steph appears more confident in the idea of giving up her baby in the Secret Origins 80 Page Giant, it's directly connected to the idea of sparing her baby the same garbage childhood she was subjected to.
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Steph is convinced finally to give up her baby because the conflation between her babys potential childhood and her own childhood in her dream sequence convinces her that the elements which made her childhood so shitty have not fundamentally changed.
Crystal Brown
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Despite their relationship seemingly better than perhaps in years, Dream-Crystal is portrayed as completely oblivious to the danger Arthur presents, ushering him in and even scolding Steph for her concern. If Steph and Crystals relationship is at such a high point, then why would Steph’s mind portray Crystal as someone who opens the door to this danger and ignores this threat?
Because it’s something Steph is dredging up from her own childhood. It’s not malicious, but it’s apparent that despite being a target of Arthur’s physical abuse, Crystal historically has been quick to assume the best of Arthur and ignore hints of his worse nature. By the time Steph’s pregnancy arc has begun Crystal is able to recognize Arthur as shitty, but throughout Steph’s childhood that’s just not the case. (Both drug use and a malfunctioning ‘lie detector’ as Steph puts it, seem to be to blame for this).
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Batman Chronicles #22 / Secret Files 80 Page Special / Robin #111
Stephs subconscious doesn't have faith that Crystal has changed. Despite Crystal having progressed and become much more present and cognizant of the harm Arthur poses, Stephs subconscious is still wary. This is realistic. Maybe it's not fair to Crystal, but Steph can't help holding onto this fear, at least subconsciously. To be fair, it can’t have been over a year since Crystal was smiling at Arthur, seemingly accepting him back from prison soon before Steph dons the Spoiler costume for the first time. This breaks part of Steph’s counterargument to Tim in Robin #64 where she asserts she could raise her baby with the help of her mom. Despite all the progress Steph and Crystal have made, Steph still isn't able to fully trust Crystal with her baby, and her dream shows that.
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2. Arthur Brown
Cluemaster appears, the subconscious fear of how he poisoned Stephs childhood leaking over to how she thinks about her baby's hypothetical childhood with her. Would her baby be safe from Arthur?
Steph knows very well that Arthur is free from jail and as dangerous as ever: between their encounter in Blunt Trauma where he tried to kill her, and the fact that he destroyed her and Crystals house, the physical threat of Arthur Brown is readily apparent.
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Robin #54
But its not the physical harm that her father poses which the dream fixates on. As per usual for Steph, she seems much less scared of her father hurting her as she is frightened by the idea of his criminality as a symbol of her own wrongness.
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Just like Steph believes her own self to be poisoned by her relation to Arthur she fears that her baby might be tainted the same way. Her fear isn't absolutely unfounded either. Arthur is free, and he's ransacked and destroyed Stephs home during Cataclysm. His recent violation and destruction of what should be a safe place, much like he barges in and disrupts Stephs peace in her dream, signify how Arthurs still has and would have this huge presence in Steph -- and by extension her baby's -- life.
So, Steph has two reasons which warn her against keeping her baby, two things she is afraid would give her baby the one thing she wants to avoid: it having the same shitty childhood as her. But not everything is the same as when she was a kid, right? Now she has allies, friends even, who are powerful and capable. Hell, Stephs a hero too! That means something, doesn't it?
3. The Heroes Arrive
Stephs subconscious seems to think so, at least to a degree. Steph isn't left alone to save her baby. As her panic mounts, the heroes appear just in time.
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And just like that Steph is wearing her Spoiler costume, the symbol of her agency, the thing that allowed her to stand up to her father in the first place.
Vigilantism is therefore empowering, and the connections (albeit highly tenuous connections) Steph has made in the hero community are empowering also.
Steph has new factors, factors which weren't present in her own childhood which can step in, the situations are not actually identical, maybe she can keep her baby, maybe it will be safe.
Some of the heroes she conjures make a lot of sense, Steph is very close with Robin, he's supported her especially during her pregnancy and he's one of the last people she saw before entering her dream. She's had a positive encounter with Connor Hawke which clearly influenced her. Even her tenuous encounter with Huntress proved to Steph Helena was highly capable. I honestly don't know why Nightwing is there, they haven't met. And Batman. The Batman.
Notice Batman's dialogue. If it sounds familiar, that's because Steph said an almost identical line in the last issue, in that same moment Tim and her are discussing Steph keeping her baby.
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Dream-Batman parrots the same language as Steph, the same sentiment, but not about Steph, about her baby. How much has really changed, then?
The heroes fight, but its to a standstill. The assorted heroes present fight the assorted villains that Arthur has brought with him, but Arthur himself is untouched, her baby is still in harms way. And Steph, stands there in the middle of it, horrified and still as Crystal laughs behind her.
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Steph's subconscious decides its not enough. Theres so many of these heroes, sure, but they can't stop Arthur, can they? They couldn't when it was Steph in danger, when it was Steph who needed saving. It's no ones fault. But Steph knows.
Just like it always has: Steph knows it comes down to her.
4. Catch
Arthur throws her baby into the air, and we've arrived at the final moments of her dream. And so, the final question, the deciding moment. Can Steph rely on herself?
After spending the rest of her dream remaining uncharacteristically helpless and inactive, Steph finally leaps into action.
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Let's hone in on that middle panel. It stands out, for good reason. Despite the rest of the dream taking place during the afternoon, with clear light in the sky and a cloudy purple hued sky, the sky in that second panel is pitch black and dotted with stars. And below the baby, there's this light purple grid.
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It's not random, we're being shown a time and location we know. That's the exact roofing of Steph’s house, we're looking at Stephs rooftop, at night.
We've seen this time and location before, during Stephs pregnancy, way back in Robin #58, when Steph first questions whether or not she should keep her baby.
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This is it, this is the moment. We saw Steph first question how she could give up her baby on this roof, and now, as her baby plummets into an identical scene, right before Stephanie wakes up, we're getting our answer.
But this isn't the only time we see this setting during Stephs pregnancy.
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Secret Origins 80 Page Special
The second scene with this framing is a flashback, to a young Steph, sitting on the roof of her house alone, looking at the moon. The attached dialogue is Steph’s narration explaining how she used to dream that she’d see Batman some day. This is a scene about faith and hope. About dreams, about wanting to get saved.
So why do we see the same roof and sky again, for the third and final time during Steph’s pregnancy arc while her baby falls?
Stephanie’s dream sequence is a checklist of reasoning for why she can’t keep her baby. She is reflecting her own childhood onto the baby and she is concluding not enough has changed, she is suspecting her baby could very well be subject to the same circumstances.
And it culminates in this final moment. Crystal, while more present than ever is still not fully reliable in Steph's mind. Arthur is on the loose and as sadistic as ever. The heroes can show up, but they can’t save her baby, just like Batman couldn’t save Steph on that rooftop years and years ago. Just like then, it’s down to Steph on her own. Thats why when she lunges out for her baby, the baby is falling onto that rooftop. It’s both a reminder of the question Steph is stuck considering and an explanation for how she reaches her answer.
Because she can’t rely on anyone else, because she has to leap out, reach out, save her baby, and ultimately that look of horror as the baby falls isn’t a look of anticipation, it’s a look of utter and horrific acceptance. I don’t think Steph believes she reached her baby in time. I think Steph doesn’t think she can save her baby at all.
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Steph is a very proactive character. It's strange to see her hesitate towards action, and extremely strange to see that when that action is saving someone from danger. But she's indecisive throughout her pregnancy, and she's helpless throughout her dream sequence until the very last second. Even donning the Spoiler costume doesn't help. She's helpless in this dream.
So, checklist gone through, conclusions drawn, Steph wakes up and makes the only decision she can, the decision which goes against her very nature: Stephanie lets go.
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littlespoonevan · 8 months ago
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had a thought this morning that Eddie could’ve broken up with Marisol in 7x05 and his 7b storyline would’ve still been the exact same 💀
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chirpsythismorning · 8 months ago
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El being *12 hours earlier* than the Cali timeline when she arrives at Nina. Will saying ‘it’s been 9 hrs’ in the scene following his monologue in the van.
We know that at some point their timelines merged when they arrived to save her…
But we don’t know when exactly those alignments took place when they were still apart… which just makes you wonder…
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turtleblogatlast · 10 months ago
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[ cw: death mention / family death mention / ]
Mhmm I sure love thinking of the reality where we did get more time to really know Karai and her dynamics with the bros. Losing her hit hard in the finale, but it would’ve hit much, much harder had we known Karai longer and really saw her relationships develop with everyone.
I especially would have been interested in her dynamic with Leo, as past iterations often have the two of them clash in ideals and the like while still sharing many characteristics. Two sides of the same coin, and all that. Her specifically being the bros’ Gram-Gram also adds a whole new dynamic as well.
Imagine how interesting it would be, to have Karai start off on Leo’s side for once, showing wholly just how alike the two are at their cores and bonding as family without the worry of betrayal or animosity that other iterations suffer through, only to have Karai die anyway. Their parting hug and the desperate look of horror Leo wears later on would have hit that much harder, I feel.
#rottmnt#rise of the teenage mutant ninja turtles#rise of the tmnt#rise karai#rise leo#rottmnt karai#rottmnt leo#I think a lot about these two in particular#and how that dynamic could have flourished#the way it was depicted in the finale is so purposefully unique and painful like#that hug man#can you imagine how much more heartbreaking that would have been if we knew her longer#not that it wasn’t already sad but we just simply didn’t know her long enough to be completely attached#also imo having more episodes with her and in general would have presented something I’ve been thinking about since the finale#so like - I like to think each bro kinda immediately leans more toward certain family members#Mikey has Draxum#Donnie has April#Raph has Splinter because this is another one that would be SO GOOD and make the finale moment where Raph sees his memories hit harder#if they had an ep or two more of Splinter and Raph together bc I really do feel like Raph respects Splinter most of the four#and finally- Leo has Karai#and then he loses her#imo? this would align with the movie even more#because it was the act of heroism that kinda killed her in a way - makes sense that Leo would initially be leaning away from that#and yet he ends up exactly like her anyway#haha sorry for rambling I just really love the interesting dynamic these two tend to have#and it’s a shame we didn’t get to see it really explored in rise#but yeah make no mistake while I’m focusing on Leo here I wanted more for all the boys and karai#Mikey’s little moments with her were so sweet and we already know how much he yearns for more family#Karai being from an age long gone would mean she’d be super impressed by literally any invention Donnie has (adult validation!!)#and could you imagine her training with Raph - with this training being referenced in the finale?
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banyanas · 5 months ago
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Md finale thoughts/spoilers but I to quite like the progression of realization from ‘is the absolute solver spreading itself to have more hosts?’ to ‘oh cyn-solver isn’t spreading the virus on purpose’ to ‘cyn-solver is actively hunting down other solver drones that aren’t her own Disassembler “worker bees” (as seen with Nori’s notes in e7)’.
it makes sense that she’s hunting the others down- they’re not potential backup hosts, they’re rival “queens”, and I say that very much in the eusocial insect way. She always knew there was a possibility that another solver drone could become the new primary host as soon as she was able to possess the Unethical Test Subjects (trademarked) via sharing the Absolute Solver. Kind of a double edged blade? More eyes and hands to possess and work through by possessing them, but always with the possibility one of the “maiden queens” would win out in a physical confrontation over the metaphorical crown. (Which is exactly what happened when V and N stopped doing their murder jobs).
Anyway drones is bugs and always has been i fuckin knew it
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angelnumber27 · 8 months ago
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It’s so embarrassing and heartbreaking being in so much pain over losing someone while knowing they don’t give a fuck if you live or die. Your favorite person becoming a stranger is a special kind of hell.
#I fucking hate having bpd#while I’m at it I don’t understand the fuckin audacity some people have to say they love you and do horrible things to you#I feel so stupid#I feel so stupid for believing all the lies#but I was so in love and put him on such a pedestal that I just allowed it all.#thinking about someone constantly and grieving over them and knowing they’re perfectly fine and to them you don’t exist#I’m still in such a state of grief and I don’t understand why time hasn’t healed#it honestly feels like it’s gotten worse w time#I just torture myself but I can’t help it my brain wants me dead#it’s so painful I feel so fucking stupid#being abandoned with no closure by someone who’s your entire world#for someone they were unfaithful to you with multiple times (I don’t even know how many and dony want to know) immediately#like that was the plan all along#he took our cat hundreds of miles away and I don’t even know if he still has her or if she’s still alive and I miss her every day#I never loved someone like that and it feels like the heartbreak is actually physically killing me#i spent 1/5 of my entire life with him#I was my prettiest and had the best body at the time and I wasted it on someone who didn’t appreciate me#not wasted. it wasn’t wasted. we had some incredible times together#I’ll never be that beautiful again#and now idk what do so bc i can’t decide which is worse: being alone and isolating or loving deeply and ending up horribly hurt all over#it’s all just so upsetting.#and I feel so stupid for allowing it all#he knows more about me than anyone and he made me feel like he loved me so much sometimes and then did horrid things and it’s so fucked up#nobody read this I’m so embarrassed and horribly broken#it traumatized me so much there was so much abuse and pain idk if I’ll ever recover#I deserved it but it still hurts my heart#I was so mentally ill and sick I know it had to have been miserable to be around me#there are so many things only he understands and knows about me and I need to talk about them I j wanna b able to b there 4 each other#but that girl is so beyond insecure and controlling so. if I want to talk to who fuckin gets me I’m just fucked#why lead someone on like that for years knowing you’re going to abandon them the second it’s convenient
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aalghul · 10 months ago
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I don’t think it makes sense to assume that Jason was mocking Mia’s past. At all. The thing that got jason painted as violent back in the 80s was his anger against rapists…how does that turn into mocking a victim? and that entire story was written by winick. Do we honestly think winick intended to communicate that? The same writer who made Jason’s first kill a man who was trafficking children? Who had Jason pause in his mission of madness to make sure those kids were found by the right people so they wouldn’t be in further danger?
#let’s knock on our skulls and kick our brains back into gear okay?#you can maintain that it wasn’t well executed or that the role mia played here bothers you#but you can’t say jason was mocking her for that or even seriously trying to hurt her physically#he was bsing like 90% of the story with his constant ‘we should all kill anyone who inconveniences us! speedy and GA should try to kill me#if they want to win’ like we understand that yes?#but that last part of his convo with Mia was the one serious part#he was wrong! of course he was wrong about ollie. but this was also Jason’s first time meeting ollie#it was ridiculous and unnecessary on his end and it put mia thru the emotional wringer for nothing#but that wasn’t the Intention. it was a stupid thing done by someone who never expected anything to come of it but still said what *to him*#was a way of offering advice#and as for the ppl who go ‘stop reaching abt jason being a victim and just read Mia instead’#a) there’s more to Mia’s character than her past. anyone who thinks that fits Jason’s past wouldn’t necessarily like mia bc they’re not the#same character#it’s the same way that if jason was confirmed to have been a victim of SA as a kid then all of Mia’s fans wouldn’t love him like they love#her? this is common sense. anyways stop being assholes online and just recommend characters too ppl nicely#b) more than one character can have experienced a similar form of abuse. also common sense#c) it’s not an unreasonable hc#d) it doesn’t hurt you personally. none of this killed your grandma#once again: hate whoever you like but choosing the interpretation that doesn’t make sense just to make up a#‘valid’ reason is serious loser behaviour
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akkivee · 6 months ago
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we have three people who’ve been affected by the true hypnosis mic and two of them, nemu and kuukou, have physical items that represent their bonds, kuukou’s matching bandana and nemu’s aohitsugi bracelet
sasara’s the odd man out so i wonder if it’s smoking that represents the mcd bond????? but the fact that sasara’s trying to quit instead of already sober is striking me as strange, like the bandana and bracelet are notably missing but sasara’s is still lingering???? 🤔
#vee queued to fill the void#then there’s the fact sasara receiving his government issued mic and therefore the aforementioned scene wasn’t depicted in the manga 🤔🤔🤔#idk how to explain it lol#at the end of the day all roads lead back to rosho for sasara so i assumed something of rosho’s snapped him out of it#hhhhhhhhhhhhh but the way sasara has tragus piercings and they’re rumoured to relieve headaches#sasara has broken free from the true hypnosis mic but it’d be crazy if he was the one suffering from unforseen side effects#i need the nagosaka or another leaders centric manga to return PLS SHOW ME HOW SASARA AND KUUKOU BROKE FREE FROM THE TRUE HYPNOSIS MIC#like gosh the chuuoku stage showed us how nemu functioned from day to day and she was very cold#and when the hypnosis started weakening was when she was asserting her bond with inori and her bright personality came back#kuukou was going thru some behavioural issues even his father was getting concerned about and lowkey threatened to kick kuukou out#it’s a weird parallel i’m not entirely sure if i should be making bc that would imply kuukou at most until harmonious cooperation#WAS NOT free from the hypnosis given he almost got arrested everyone say thank you jyushi lol#the true hypnosis eventually wears off otome or ichijiku said bc of their strength in mind and so that’s sIDE EFFECTS IT KEEPS COMING BACK#KR!!!!!!!!!!!! ANSWER ME GODDAMN IT!!!!!!!!!!!!! I DONT KNOW HOW TO CONNECT THESE PIECES!!!!!!!!!!!!! PLS!!!!!!!!!!!
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drolta · 6 months ago
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Just finished Gildun’s side quest and I am weeping at the parallel between him and Aloy and the ever present theme of overcoming loneliness and finding true friendship.
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